


Wonderful Mess

by senny_sen



Category: BBC Radio 1 RPF, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Break Up, M/M, Past Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Tomlinshaw - Freeform, broken hearted louis, in a world where zayn is still in the band, this is bit of a rollercoaster
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-28
Updated: 2015-06-28
Packaged: 2018-04-06 16:50:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4229460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/senny_sen/pseuds/senny_sen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis is trying to get used to the idea of being alone.<br/>Nick isn't looking for anything serious.<br/>Neither of them are looking for a relationship, so it should be simple.<br/>Just sex between two friends.<br/>Except the fact that they are barely friends.<br/>{Past Larry}</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wonderful Mess

**Author's Note:**

> So this took a bit of courage to post, and I would like to thank everybody on tumblr for their kind words, which made this a bit easier. There isn't much Tomlinshaw in this first chapter, but the ones to come have loads of it. This is so nerve wracking, but here it is!  
> This is my first time writing Tomlinshaw, and any advice/critique would be lovely!  
> Thanks for reading!

As Louis lay sprawled out on his cold kitchen floor, the only thing that kept playing out in his head was;  _he left, he actually fucking left._

It should not have come to a shock to either of them. Harry had gotten tired of being Louis' little secret, and Louis didn't blame him. He was tired too, fucking exhausted more like. Neither of them were happy, and they knew damn well that simply "coming out" would not solve the problems that had come to the surface amidst their secret relationship.

But Louis still felt miserable, like his world came crashing down when he realized that only his clothes occupied the dresser and closet, and only one toothbrush took up space on the counter. So he sat there, on the kitchen floor, and sucked in his misery over the three year relationship that went to shit.

*

"You know," Zayn started as he joined Louis on the floor. "It was probably for the best."

"Wonderful, because that's exactly what I want to hear right now, about how amazing it is that my boyfriend of three years finally decided to leave me." Louis exclaimed sporadically and Zayn felt as if he had rolled his eyes any harder they would get stuck.

"Oh god, don't be so dramatic," He groaned, earning a dirty look from Louis.

"Oh, I am sorry, but did your boyfriend of three years up and leave you?" He asked. Zayn tried his hardest to stay supportive.

"He didn't up and leave, he told you he was going to leave a while ago, you had a fair warning." Zayn said.

"I know, I just didn't think he really would." His voice was lower, more serious. He looked down at his lap, scared he might start crying. Surprisingly, he had yet to shed a single tear since Harry left, but it has only been a little less than six hours since the last box of his belongings had been removed from their once shared flat.

"Look, I'm sorry mate, I - just - we all saw it coming, it was bound to happen. Some people just aren't meant to be together forever."

Louis looked at his friend and gave him a sad smile. Zayn was right, dammit Zayn was always right, he thought. "Yeah, I know, how silly of me to think that it would work itself out, yeah?"

"Don't dwell on it mate," Zayn said, patting him on the shoulder.

"It's hard not to," Louis whispered, scared his voice would crack if he were to talk any louder.

Right then, Zayn's phone rings and he looks at Louis apologetically. He waves at him, motioning for him to take the call. He answers it reluctantly, Louis could already tell that it was Perrie, which caused him to tune out his friend.

"Are you alright on your own?" He asked and Louis rolled his eyes. He felt fine, he was miserable, but he was perfectly capable of taking care of himself.

He waved him off, "It's fine, go on. I'll just be here feeling sorry for myself."

"At least pick yourself up off the floor," He said. Louis grumbled as he picked himself up off of the tile.

"Now go, I know you probably have somewhere to be." Louis said, but Zayn looked at him, pity drawn in his brown eyes.

"It's not that important I can stay," he started and Louis scoffed.

"I'm not an infant locked in a hot car; I'm an adult and can take care of myself."

"Alright," He said, looking at him briefly before he opened the door and quickly left. Louis walked down the corridor that lead to his front room and looked around the half empty space. He started getting a tight feeling in his chest again, so he dropped down face first onto the couch and lied in misery once more, alone.

|||

"Louis, it's been a month," Liam complained, shifting through the dirty laundry scattered in the hall to get to his living room. "Have you even tried to clean up 'round here?"

"Where's the time to clean up when I am to busy healing my broken heart?" Louis yelled to him from the living room. Liam rolled his eyes as he stepped over a stack of pizza boxes that sat in the middle of the hallway.

"This is right disgusting, why don't you call a maid or something, have someone else do it for you?"

"Why? So they can sell the story to the press. Uh, I can see it now." He said changing his tone to the sound of a TV show host. "1D star, Louis Tomlinson, to be featured on the next season of Hoarding: Buried Alive."

"Have you even done anything while we've been on this break?" Liam asked, ignoring his snarky comments. Louis shook his head and changed the channel on the TV, trying to distract himself from the impending conversation that Liam was alluding to.

"Jesus mate, have you even left the house?"

"Of course I have, don't be ridiculous!" He very well counts the times he went to check the mail and get a couple of things from the store, only the necessities.

"Are you ready for tonight?" Liam asked, sitting at the end of the sofa where Louis' feet were. He placed them on Liam's lap and shook his head. Tonight was the first time he'd be seeing Harry, in front of a slew of collegues and friends at The Brits, and he was not looking forward to it in the least. 

Liam sighed, "You know, you could just tell the team you're not up to it, it's completely fine."

"No no no, I'll be alright. Just got to tough it out," Louis said and sat up, putting his face in his hands.

"Have you seen him at all since he left?" Louis shook his head.

"Unless you count on the cover of The Sun," He would like to think that he didn't pick up a copy of the acclaimed gossip magazine and put it in with his groceries, but then he'd be lying to himself. He scanned the paper and saw they were putting him with some girl, claiming for the two to be together. Louis laughed at that accusation, knowing very well that was completely made up. He noted how Harry looked good, almost too good for someone that just broke off a long term relationship with someone he had been with the majority of his teenage life. All bright eyed, and dimply smiled, just so Harry. Louis would like to think that he was just putting on a brave face for the cameras, but they all knew that Harry always wore his heart on his sleeve.

Liam patted his knee, "Maybe seeing him tonight will give you some sort of closure, you know?"

Louis gave a weak chuckle and mumbled, "Maybe."

He hated this. He hated the ache in his chest, the constant bore of having to carry on day to day and pretend that being by himself is normal. He just wanted his life back. 

 

|||

 

Behind the scenes, where they were getting red carpet ready, Louis was the last to arrive. He apologized with a grim smile at Lou and the rest of their team who had been waiting on his arrival. He didn't realize until he was in front of the bright lights of the vanity how much he had let himself go. Granted, he was cooped up in his house, slumming the days away, eating whatever could be delivered to his doorstep. He shaved, rushing before he left, and hadn't gotten his hair cut or done since the break had started. Lou and Lottie had a lot to work with, concealing the dark circles residing underneath his eyes and applying an artificial glow the best they could.

The other boys had already arrived, their glowing faces put on by the time Louis had arrived. He wished he could have said he was running behind because he honestly lost track of time, and not because he wanted to put off seeing Harry as long as he could. But then he'd be lying to himself.

As Lou was putting the finishing touches on his hair, Zayn peeked his head in the door of the dressing room.

"It's almost time to go on," he said, realising that he was sitting in the chair, and Lou had been done for a few minutes now. At this point, he hadn't even caught a glimpse if Harry. Not even in the slightest, he was petrified at the thought of having to see him again. The last time the two of them were in the same room there were vases being thrown, along with hurtful words and angry goodbyes.

He sat in the styling chair, building up all the silent courage he could before he absolutely  _ha_ d to leave. He took a deep breath and walked out of the dressing room with Zayn, expecting to see  _him_ waiting outside, but he wasn't.

The two walked toward the exit of the building, running into a few friends, colleagues, along the way, all of them asking why Louis hadn't been around much, he mustered up enough strength to say he had been at home, he told a few others that he was sick, not going into much detail explaining either one. Zayn touched his shoulder, along if he was alright, he nodded knowing he could manage.

Until he walked outside and saw the rest of his band standing around waiting for them.

Louis felt his throat drop to his stomach, his mouth felt like it was made out of cotton and he immediately felt like he needed to throw up. But despite the feeling of self implosion, he gave the guys a small smile, all of them hugging him, except for Harry.

Harry gave a polite smile and a small 'hello'. Louis just kept his right smile, scared to open his mouth.

This was going to be a long night.

|||

Louis had done his best to stay as far away from his ex as he possibly could, which was working out to be extremely difficult considering that they were in the same band.

When they walked onto the red carpet, he had managed to stay as far away as he could without it being noticed, and sat on the opposite end of him at the show. They, of course, won every award they had been nominated for, bringing home two in total. But Louis couldn't help but keep count in his head how long it was until the after party.

All he wanted to do was to get inappropriately drunk and have someone drag him home.

So once the party started, he naturally gravitated toward the bar, immediately ordering three shots, two for him and one for Niall, who joined him. He downed them with no problem, the only problem was that he still felt miserable and he knew drinking the night away would only make it worse.

He looked at Niall, who smiled sadly at him, so Louis waved him off, not wanting his sulk to rub off on his naturally happy friend.

So he sat, parked at the bar, nursing a glass of whiskey when someone sat next to him, but he didn't bother to look and see who this person was.

"Louis Tomlinson," the person who took a seat next to him says. Louis looks over, and rolls his eyes. "Why, don't you look charming tonight."

"Piss off," he says taking a drink.

"What, am I not allowed to compliment boybanders on their appearances?"

"I'm not in the mood for you,"

"Oh, that's right. I forgot how fresh that breakup is, how ya holding?"  _Absolutely awful,_  he thought but he wasn't drunk enough to confide in the likes of Nick Grimshaw, at least not yet.

"Just fine," he said before ordering 2 more rounds of shots.

"I'm sure," Nick responds, thanking Louis for buying him a drink, to which Louis rolled his eyes and they downed their first round.

"Havent seen you out lately." Nick said after a brief silent pause.

"Was visiting my mum, haven't had a chance too." Louis says, almost robotic, seeming that was the answer he was giving most of the people that night. He didn't know how much longer he could hold up small talk, but it was a distraction from everyone else's fun, and that's all he wanted.

They took turns, ordering round, after round, and the more drunk Louis became, the more Nick Grimshaw was starting to become more and more appealing to the eye. His stupid remarks became all of a sudden hilarious, and he couldn't help staring at Nick's lips.

They started scooting closer and closer to each other, Nick was returning the glances downward, causing a riot of butterflies in Louis stomach.

"I want to kiss you," Louis said, surprising himself. Nick didn't look phased by his remark.

"Do it then popstar." And with that, Louis attached himself to Nick's mouth, in a brief yet firing kiss. Louis pulled back first, knowing someone would see and it wouldn't back to Harry.

"Do you wanna get out of here?" Nick asked and Louis nodded, their proximity still close. He motioned for Louis to follow him out the back, and led him to a car that was parked. He gave the driver directions.

As soon as the car took off, Louis glances at Nick, who was already staring, and leaped onto him, kissing him roughly and grabbing the back of his neck and pulling himself closer to him.

And that was the start of the string of Louis' bad decision making. 

 


End file.
